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Maisie Ruttan

Maisie Ruttan

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🛑 NEVER say good night to your child! And, here

🛑 NEVER say good night to your child! And, here's why
Bedtime is when a lot of repair and reflection happens. Its when many of us look back on our day, and start to think about what tomorrow brings
This is no different in kids.
The problem is, our children are not yet capable of processing their emotions alone.
They need us to help them feel safe and make sense of this big wide world
Whether this is making amends after a particularly difficult day , or sharing in the joy of the memories made...bedtime is without a doubt a time where kids seek that connection and leaning in.
Saying good night to our child is the opposite of connection. It is like a big fat reminder that you are leaving them for the night.
Separation is scary for kids. Like helloooo a lion might jump out and eat cha!
Okay, so maybe the threat of lions is a few centuries behind us.
But, goodbyes are hard for kids! Same with good-nights.
Add in a stressful, rushed evening and a dash of cortisol and you pretty well have a recipe for disaster.
I know what it's like. That ever-pressing-desire for your adult time!
But if you can….slooooow it down
Invest in that connection..
And, instead of focusing on that goodbye, remind them that you are still there...that you aren't really going anywhere at all.
One quick tip that I find can really help is to resist the urge to say goodnight....and instead say something that speaks to the next time you will see them.
Example...
"I’ll come check on you after ______"
Another favourite is, "I'll see you in my dreams"
*Bonus points if you tell them what you dreamt about come morning.
Give it a try, and tell me what you think!
X Maisie
#momofatoddler #momhood #hotmessmom #sahmproblems #toddlermum #momoftoddlers #mommingainteasy #survivingmotherhood #mommymode #yougotthismama #snuggledup #sleepin #snuggleup #timeforbed #sleepdeprivedmama #fallingasleep #toddlertantrums #sosleepy #exhaustedmama #bedtimesnuggles #parenteducation #toddlersleep #sleepingtips #gentlesleeptraining #certifiedsleepconsultant #childsleep #sleepeducation #sleephelp #sleepadvice #parentinghelp

Have you heard this before? This idea that bedtime

Have you heard this before? This idea that bedtime routines need to be consistent?
Same. Routine. Every. Single. Night.
And there is some truth to this. Consistency helps kids know what to expect, which can help with transitions, and foster those feelings of safety and security that are so important
But the idea of having a super consistent routine really only makes sense if you have a routine that is working for you
If you dread bedtime, and you are left feeling frustrated or powerless, then doing the same thing over and over every night doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?
I’m sorry to say that having a consistent routine is not going to magically improve bedtime on its own
For bedtime to really be effortless, you want to read your child’s needs
It may seem backwards, but bedtime is really not about making sleep happen. It’s about bringing your child to rest through connection and helping them to calm
All the rest, the pjs, teeth, etc, tat’s all just hygiene stuff. It’s needed, yes
But - it’s actually the vibe and feels that bedtime brings that helps your child fall asleep…this is the piece that you want to recreate each night
So actually, it’s the connection piece is where you want to be consistent. Your connection to your child is so much more important than sticking to some rigid routine
How you accomplish this vibe really doesn’t matter all that much as long as it works for you and your child
(and psst - it doesn’t have to be consistent!)
~ Hey! I’m @maisie.ruttan - a heart-centered sleep specialist, and I can help you go from feeling frustrated, exhausted, and quietly doubting yourself to having more freedom in your evenings so that you can reconnect with your partner, and have some well deserved ‘me time’
Follow for toddler focused sleep tips!
#attachmentparent #preschoolers #parentingcoach #consiousparenting #toddlertiredsigns #toddlertantrum #sleepadvice #childsleep #bedtimebattle #sleepingtips #bedtimebattles #gentlesleep #gentlesleepcoach #holisticsleepcoach #toddlertantrums #toddlersleepconsultant #sleepeducation #toddlersleephelp #toddlersleeptips #toddlersleep #sleepcoach #sleeptips #childsleepconsultant #sleepregression

A common theme that comes up over-and-over with th

A common theme that comes up over-and-over with the families I work with, is that feeling of immense frustration
The why won't you just go the f to sleep frustration that ends up with you turning into some version of "Mean Mom" that you hate.
You've done all the right things (or mostly.... because #lifewithkids is HARD!)
But no matter what you do or try, your kid just can't or won't sleep.
It can be impossibly hard to maintain your cool when they resist the bedtime routine, make a million excuses, and won't lay still... when all you want to do is hit the couch!
One quick and easy mindset shift that has helped a lot of Moms I've worked with to keep their cool, is to practice intentionally pausing so they can consciously shift their internal focus...
From...
- I flippin hate bedtime
- I hate that they won't listen to me
- Why I can never get this right?
-What can I do, or say, or try tomorrow
To...
- My child is not giving me a hard time, they are having a hard time
- What is one small thing I can do right now that can help get them one step closer to sleep.
That one thing might be...
- Taking a quick break to collect yourself
- Lightening the mood with playfulness
- Singing a lullaby (it's just as calming for YOU as it is them!) or
- Offering up some comfort (massage, pats, etc)
*Please like, save, or share this post if you found it helpful!
👋 Hey! I'm @maisie.ruttan a heart-centered and holistic sleep coach specializing in supporting toddlers, preschoolers and kids (1-8) to sleep through a blend of peaceful parenting and genuinely gentle sleep tips.
Don't forget to follow 💕
#gentlesleepcoach #certifiedsleepconsultant #pediatricsleepconsultant #toddlersleep #toddlerhelp #sleepadvice #sleepingtips #gentlesleep #sleepcoaching #sleepeducation #sleeptips #childsleepconsultant #childsleep #sleepregression #mumtips #toddlersleephelp #toddlersleeptips #momhack #parenteducation #toddlertantrums #sleepcoach #holisticsleepcoach #stressfreebedtime #attachmentparent #parentingcoach #toddlersleepconsultant #bedtimebattle #gentlemama #consiousparenting

Do you wish that bedtime was quicker, easier, and

Do you wish that bedtime was quicker, easier, and just plain better?
Bedtimes really can be HARD, can’t they!?!
Which is why we are going to be sharing our best tips for a stress-free bedtime.
Join me @maisie.ruttan - a sleep and parenting coach specializing in kids…and Elizabeth with @emotionally_healthy_legacy who’s a stress coach for Moms!
We’ll be doing a joint LIVE on Friday September 23rd sharing some of our best, most practical tips.
Here’s a little hint…it all starts with YOU and lowering your stress levels.
See ya soon!
#pediatricsleepconsultant #toddlertantrum #bedtimebattle #bedtimebattles #tiredmama #toddlermommy #toddlerbedtimebattles #toddlersleep #toddlersleepconsultant #toddlersleepregression #preschoolersleep #preschoolers #toddlertiredsigns #toddlersleeptips #gentlemama #attachmentparent #childsleep #parentingcoach #consciousparenting #peacefulparenting #stressfreebedtime #sleeptips

How does your child show you that they are ready f

How does your child show you that they are ready for bed?
Do they get whiney? Cranky? Clingy?
Hungry but not really wanting to eat?
What about clumsiness?
My twins do alllll of the above!
~ Hey! I’m @maisie.ruttan - a holistic sleep coach and peaceful parenting educator that specializes in helping gentle families to parent their toddlers, preschoolers and kids to sleep! (Without sleep training!)
#pediatricsleepconsultant #overtiredtoddler #overtiredandcranky #overtiredkids #notreadyforbed #toddlertantrum #bedtimebattle #bedtimebattles #tiredmama #toddlermommy #toddlerbedtimebattles #toddlersleep #toddlersleepconsultant #toddlersleepregression #preschoolersleep #preschoolers #tiredsigns #toddlertiredsigns #toddlersleeptips #gentlemama #attachmentparenting

Have you heard this idea before? More than likely

Have you heard this idea before?
More than likely you’ve been told to restrict their TV shows?
To watch what you say in front of their spongy little ears?
Stressful and traumatic situations are known to lead to nightmares and fears, so these are good recommendations!
But there’s actually a lot more to it than this.
You see, our brains are constantly on the lookout… Scanning for any signs of danger or threat.
But our brain also hates uncertainty! So by default, it fills in the gaps when it can’t make sense of things.
As an adult, if you hear the house creek, or if you awaken in a jolt, more than likely, you can rationalize and make sense that rush of panic.
Maybe it was just the furnace kicking in? Or maybe you woke up with a ridiculously full bladder, or had a stressful day at work and feel panicky?
Kids haven’t yet had these repeated paired experiences. Their brain is not always able to make sense of things…so they fill in the gaps!
The really interesting thing about all of this… is that nightmares and fears start to be seen in toddlers starting around the age of 3 years old… right alongside the development of imagination!!
Sorta makes sense right?
It’s all unconscious of course… but I feel like I must go something like this:
I feel strange inside.
My heart is pounding.
My lungs are panting.
Oh, my body feels scared!
Which means there must be danger!
The threat must be a {insert dangerous thing here}
It’s the internal anxiety, or stress that is the driving force that leads them to essentially invent a name for their feeling. Not the other way around.
That internal stress could be from something environmental, but it can also be due to internal dysregulation left over from an overstimulating day, too much separation from their primary attachment figure - or from overtiredness even!
Share this post if you found this interesting 😉
~ Hey! I’m @maisie.ruttan, and I specialize in helping gentle families to parent their toddlers, preschoolers and kids to sleep! (Without sleep training!)
#baddream #childdevelopment #earlychildhooddevelopment #toddlersleepconsultant #toddlersleep #developmentalpsychology #pediatricsleepconsultant

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